Divorce is a long, painful process. It’s no wonder some people find themselves wanting to date again, find someone new so they could love and feel loved once more. When you’re reeling from a broken heart, it sounds like going back to the dating game is just the fix you need. But in reality, it just throws a lot of complications in your already-stressful split. Here’s why it’s better to hold off on the dating scene until your divorce is final:
You drag your new partner into the mess.
A new person in your life can trigger suspicion in your new relationship. Your soon-to-be-ex might think that it’s an extramarital affair, which might motivate them to scrutinize more than they should. As explained by divorce lawyers in Colorado Springs, your spouse’s camp may arrange for a deposition, a legal proceeding in which your new partner will have to answer questions under oath. Some of the things they might ask include when the relationship started, if there are sexual relations involved, how much you’ve been spending on dates with this person, whether there are marital assets being used to sustain the relationship, etc. The answers are recorded by a stenographer or through a videotape, which will be used later as evidence in court. It’s also possible to have your special friend subpoenaed to testify at trial. The bottom line, it will be a lot to take in on their end. If you want your next relationship to be successful, you don’t want it to start this way, in the middle of the courtroom mess, right?
You may not like the child custody arrangement.
If you have kids, the court will seriously look into your behaviors in relation to the best interests of the children. They might consider how your new partner will be of influence to the kids, especially if you’re planning to live together under the same roof. If your boyfriend or girlfriend got arrested or ran into some trouble with the law in the past, it’s guaranteed that it won’t look good in the eyes of the court. Thus, you might say goodbye to your sole custody goal. Child custody arrangement aside though, consider the impact of this new partner to your very kids. Can they handle a new person in their life, after the heartbreaking reality of your split? Will they be okay moving into a different home, leaving the house they’ve grown used to for years? Think about their struggles and questions when you enter into a new relationship.
You may find it hard to negotiate financial matters.
Another thing that might get affected when you date while the divorce is ongoing is the property settlement. They might accuse you of dissipation of assets or wasting shared resources in pursuit of this new relationship. This will keep you from getting your fair share from the division of assets. Aside from the property settlement, spousal support may also get affected. In case you do push through with moving in with your new partner while the divorce isn’t final yet, the court will see this as support, and therefore might reduce the amount of maintenance you could have secured initially.
Dating during divorce adds a pile of nasty issues at this stressful event in your life. So as much as possible, postpone it. Lean on to your family and friends to shake off that feeling of loneliness and aloneness.